Big Girls Don't Cry-Unless..

a) they are talking to their mothers

b) they can't take care of their child

c) they are hormonal

d) they have a Foley catheter

e) all the above



So my answer is e) all the above. There seems to be a trend of drama on Thursday, or at least the past 2 Thursdays. Last Thursday, we were frightened when we couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. This Thursday I had to go to the doctor unexpectedly. I had to go to the bathroom more than usual on Wednesday. I just assumed it was pregnancy related. No discomfort, just frequent trips. Then Wednesday night, I woke twice to go which was unusual for me. At 4:30 Thursday morning, I had to go, but couldn't. This feeling of urgency with little result continued. By 8:00 I was just about ready to go to the ER. Instead I had my dear, sweet, friend Holly drive me to my doctor. I called on the way, but only left a message. Now this says a lot about how I was feeling. I am a rules person. I like to follow protocol, but protocol wasn't going to cut it for me! I showed up unannounced, apologized, and stated "I think I have a bladder infection and need to have a urinalysis." They had to pull my chart, and then let me talk to a phone nurse (in person) to get the order. By this time Sheila came by and was trying to decide if I needed to see a dr. The analysis came back OK (no blood), but they needed to send it for a culture. They could tell by this time, I had to see a dr. They were even a little concerned about it possibly being my cervix. This is when I got a little scared. Dr. B wasn't on call, but he squeezed me in. After hearing the baby's heartbeat :) he told me that the baby was very low, which could be part of the problem. He checked me and all looked fine with the baby. They ended up having to catheterize me, and they obtained a large amount of "output." Due to the volume and the obvious not working bladder, they decided to leave the catheter in, go ahead and start antibiotics and wait on the culture. Dr. B even consulted with an urologist. I am hoping that is the last of the urologist consultation! I go back Tuesday and we will see if all is working well then. If not, well we will cross that bridge when we get there.

I shed a few overwhelmed tears at the dr., but I knew I would fall apart talking to my momma. I don't understand this, but it always happens! As soon as I heard her voice, I got out I'm OK and then lost it. She was on a cruise this past week. She got in from Galveston late last night and is now on her way up here. Momma's are the best!

Addison felt the catheter on my leg and so I tried to explain it to her. She was a little freaked out, but the hardest thing was that I don't think she likes momma not feeling well. This breaks my heart, and makes me thankful for my health and ability to play with Addison and take care of her on a normal basis. This will pass, but there are sick mommas out there that aren't so lucky. I have prayed for them!

Yesterday afternoon, I experienced some leakage. This was diagnosed as bladder spasms. Today, that is the most bothersome part. None of this is fun, but the spasms are very uncomfortable! They only last a few seconds, but have been fairly frequent. These could be caused by the trauma from yesterday's fullness, the position of the baby/uterus, or just from the catheter itself. So fun times here!

I think the hormones are keeping me from convincing everyone I am fine. This situation is a nuisance, but this is totally dealable. The baby is fine, probably warm and cozy on top of my bladder, enjoying the vibrations from the spasms, and that is what makes it all OK. I look at Addison and think I would do anything, or go through anything for her, and I know when I see this little angel, I will feel the same way!

I am hanging out with my bag waiting for my momma to get here. Grant and Addison went to Fayetteville to the game. We already had that part planned, but I was having some girls from work over to scrapbook. I wanted them to go ahead and go. I think I can relax and rest better if I'm not worried about Addison, and I think she will be happier not having to worry about this thing on my leg!

So today, when you have to go to the bathroom, don't take it for granted! Thank God that you are able to! If you have children and are taking care of them, even in those frustrating moments, be thankful that your health allows you to! So much can change so fast!