Scary Moments

Today I had a doctor's appointment. I am 13 weeks, nearing the end of the 1st trimester. I woke up today, happy and excited about hearing the baby's heartbeat. I even posted that on my facebook status. We had several children out sick this week at work, so I was able to leave around noon today and pick Addison up. We headed to LR for some shopping before heading to the appt. They got me quickly back into the room, and we waited patiently. Sheila, my nurse, watched out for Grant and he got there in time to read Addison a book before the doctor came in. I had a list of topics to discuss and Dr. B spent 15 minutes talking to us about various things. Then it was time to listen to the heartbeat. He kept moving the Doppler and we waited...and waited...and waited. Dr. B was patient and occasionally would pat my leg and say, "don't get concerned" as he would pick up on my now racing heartbeat instead of the sweet little sound of a lemon sized miracle. Finally, he said "lets go do an ultrasound." I asked if he would do it, and he said he would be in there with us. It is amazing how in those scary moments your mind races, and how plans can be made and dreams can be broken. Addison asked why I was crying and I couldn't answer. I began thinking that nothing could happen this weekend because I wouldn't ruin Addison's Halloween. I thought my mother is suppose to leave on a cruise and I am going to need her with me. And lastly, I thought this is why my friend Kim has felt led to pray for me and this pregnancy daily. We walked down the hall, with Dr. B patting my shoulder. He was trying to be comforting, but I think he was concerned as well. Sheila saw us and Dr. B told her where we were going. I finally looked at Dr. B and said I expected this at 6 weeks, but not now. Well, he got us straight in for the ultrasound. I looked at Addison's overwhelmed little face as she was in her daddy's arms. I became calm and began comforting her. We are going to look at Mommy's tummy...No it doesn't hurt... Then they began the ultrasound with the screen turned away from me. Shiela even came in to check on us, too. Then those scary moments were filled with relief. Dr. B exclaimed "THERE IS BABY" What a little turkey! Guess this baby just wanted us to see it moving around, kicking happily! Thank God for happy, miraculous moments! I get to go back in 5 weeks, at 18 weeks, and have another ultrasound. I'm thinking this may end up being a stubborn little red head! Oh, the heartbeat was 154 today. That is what Addison's usually was- in the 150s...we will see!

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; you works are wonderful...When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16